She didn't like me. It was obvious from her expressions and body language. She expected much more and I let her down. Frankly speaking it took me sometime to get adjusted, even I had some expectations and so the feeling mutual. She wasnt the way I presumed and me nowhere near her "Man's" league. But I loved her and set aside all my thoughts to concentrate on the present. I started loving her before we both met and there was no way am going to go back, on my words and without her. We talked but most of the time it was the silence which prevailed, dont know why. Maybe because that was the first time we were meeting in some 6 years or both of us were really uncomfortable with eachother. The latter one seemed perfect. The interview was slipping away from my hands. And I could feel it. We had lunch, I then dropped her home and came to my friend's place. There was no message, no call nothing on my mobile. Everything was there to see. Spent the evening telling my friends about the meeting and went for a movie with them. It was going to be a long night.
I messaged her at night and then got a long message from her. She didnt like me(love..no need to talk about that).She tried to be subtle with her reasons and I understood. I sent her a message telling her that, I do understand her feelings.(she expected me to be at least as tall as her but I wasnt) I was heartbroken inside. I couldnt control my emotions but gathered all my will power to control it, as my male ego didnt permit me to cry in front of my friend. She wanted me to meet me the next day but I refused. I didnt want to meet her again. I deleted her pictures from the digicam which I took to show it to my friends. She wanted to be friends but my fucking ego wouldnt allow me to. I managed to sleep somehow, but then was disturbed everytime with the day's happenings. My anger mellowed and I messaged her agreeing to meet her the next day. It was New year's eve. The next morning I called her and she had bunked her college that day and told me that she wouldnt able to meet me as she didnt have any reason to tell her mom, so that she could go out. We spent the day chatting on the net. A grand party was being organised that night by the guys to usher in the new year. Booze party of course.
We spent the day chatting. Chatting about everything that happened in a span of 6 months. About ourselves. It went till 10 something in the night. It was New Year's eve and people were excited about the new tomorrow. Will it bring in good luck?will it bring in happiness?But the only thing going on in my mind was 'her'. Will it bring her to me?I didnt know. My friend and I left for the party on a terrace at one of our friend's place. There were some fifteen of us. All ready to get drunk(puke, of course)and welcome the new year. The whole family of the friend in whose place we were drinking, were ecstatic and two of his brothers also came to drink with us. Lots of booze flowed that day. Two full bottles of whiskey, Imperial Blue I think, Smirnoff vodkas,Tang orange juice for the cocktail and nice egg curry,biryanis. All set for a perfect farewell to 2007. With music blaring our ears we drunk like a horse. Everyone got high. A perfect 'Talli'. At the stroke of midnight we welcomed the New Year. I got high and blurted out what happened the previous day to everyone there. I couldn't control my emotions. I cried. In front of some fifteen of them. I had never cried for a long time till then. For a girl I cried. The liquor did the trick. It brought out all the good and bad in me.
I called her up to wish her. I wished her and started shouting at her. I didnt know what I was doing. All the thing came out. I told her that I loved her for what she was, eventhough I was not perfect enough for her(as she thought). I cried on the phone. I thought "God Damn!Whats happening to me?"My friend took over the phone and started talking to her. As both of them shared the same mother tongue. He started lobbying(is it the right word?) for me. Telling all the niceties about me. She wanted to meet me the next day. Everyone were so drunk that, everyone started puking in whatever corner they could find. We slept at four in the morning. I didnt know what the 'New Year' had in store for me. But I had decided that, I will respect her decision. Maybe that was good for both of us. I had made up my mind. I slept.
